Bad timing...

Well I hope you haven't all forgotten me....

I'd like to say that I have been having a whale of a time somewhere exotic where there's no WiFi, but although this would be partly true (no number of signal boosters will eek the WiFi signal away from the hall and up the stairs) it's been a hell of a week.

You'll remember that when I last wrote (a most self pitying little diatribe about a runny nose I believe) the New Year had just stepped over the threshold.  I was still in the process of caring for the husband, although if I'd known what his germs had in store for me, I might have left him in a sweating pile on the lounge floor rather than catering to his every bloody need.

So I succumbed, to a delightfully severe chest infection for the week, which has left me feeling like I've been run over.  My lovely doctor, sensing the need for reassurance on my part (I'm asthmatic, so tend to worry), decided that it would be a good idea to supplement my course of antibiotics with a packet of steroid tablets just to make sure that the infection got dealt with in a Pincer Movement.

And here layeth the problem...

The antibiotics were very straightforward.  'Three times a day to be taken with food' they said on the packet. This made sense, one with breakfast, lunch and then dinner.  The steroids on the other hand, were a little more ambiguous.

'Twelve tablets to be taken for five days, either before, with or after food'.

This really bamboozled me.  

Day one saw me having four lots of three tablets, with a plate of jaffa cakes being the obligatory food at an extra curricular meal four at around 8.00pm.

I panicked a bit on day two, and started having one an hour while I was awake.  This meant having some more jaffa cakes on standby, but as they slowly diminished (around 2.30 in the afternoon) I resorted to some mini packs of Love Hearts which were languishing in the kids' goodie drawer.

Day three meant that the jaffa cakes were finished, and all that was left was a slice of Christmas cake which I used as my steroid chaser for the last dose of the day.

Yesterday was day four.  There was now no food in the house other than what the men who remain here choose to buy.  This means, eggs, bacon and cheese.  None of these hit the spot with getting rid of the bitter steroid taste, so I resorted to jam sandwiches.

Today is day five.  I have completely given up on any kind of timing with these bloody pills, and am just knocking them back a couple at a time every time I happen to eat some thing.  

Most people lose weight when they are really ill.  Thanks to the steroids, I have managed to put on four pounds this week.  I also seem to have a screw top head and if you listen very carefully, there is a slight rattle when I walk.

I'm hoping to be back at Binland tomorrow morning.  Mrs S has set up the annual Binland Diet Club and I have to weigh in first thing.  

Should be interesting.

And more than a little frightening...