It was a beautiful morning yesterday, and I was looking forward to the twenty mile drive to meet my girl family (The Mother, Miss R and Mrs Jangles) for our usual Saturday breakfast, Getting into the car, I did my final checks.
Sport mode......check (that is is the car's gearbox, not me. As you know, I don't do sport)
Beetling down the main road, with my hair whipping at my still glowing cheeks (that facepack has a lot to answer for), I sang along at the top of my voice to a favourite Gene Pitney song. I know. It's not hip, not cool, but for some reason, I can't get out of the habit that when driving a Mini, 60's music is de rigeur...
So, everything was going completely to plan, when something appeared on the horizon. Something which would put a dampener on all my plans. It was the X80, the double decker bus which shuttles between Henley and Marlow.
Great. I now would have to wait until it pulled into one of the two laybys over the next seven miles before I could get past it. Having the roof down meant that I was subjected to the smell and noise of a large vehicle, its driver having the 'pedal to the metal' as it were, to reach the giddy speed of 26 mph. The noise also meant that I couldn't hear my music now, so I turned it up as far as I could. I bet Gene Pitney never imagined that he would be competing (unsuccessfully) with a Volvo B5TL along the A4155.
I gave up on the Sport mode after three miles, and stuck it into Green (or 'Old Lady Mode' as it's lovingly known by son number two). Believe it or not, the bloody bus did not stop once between Henley and Marlow (unless you count the seven times he slowed to a crawl when another bus passed so that they could wave at each other). By this point, I could have done a wave of my own involving very few fingers on one hand, but as I am a middle aged lady and know better, I contented myself with some gentle seething behind gritted teeth.
The bus finally pulled over in Marlow and I got past it. I didn't realise till I stopped at a zebra crossing in the town centre, that Gene Pitney was still belting out one of his biggest hits about cheating on some woman in Tulsa on the highest volume setting.
It wasn't till I got some looks (those kind of looks, the ones that mums are really good at) that I realised that even though it was Gene Pitney, I was making quite a noise through the sleepy town.
Sheepishly, I turned it down. Well, not everyone loves Gene Pitney....