When I tell you what went on in my house yesterday, there are those of you who will be slightly appalled. I've fought this dilemma for some time, only last week coming to the conclusion that I have to confess, so here goes..
'My name is Tracy, and I am no longer able to clean my own home...'.
You see, that wasn't all that bad. Once the decision was made, the hardest part was finding someone. I haven't had the best of luck with my cleaning ladies over the years, their reasons for leaving me involving distance (she moved county to get away from me), cataracts (couldn't make out the dust), height (couldn't see above eye level which was around 4'6" so the cobwebs flourished) and age (perfectly acceptable). So you imagine my delight when one lady's name kept reverberating around my friends. Her name was spoken in hushed voices, with the intention of not sharing her too freely. But I eventually tracked her down, and she started with me yesterday, and going forward shall be known as Lady H...
I've always thought that I kept a relatively tidy home. It would appear not. Lady H needed over three hours to just do my downstairs (not a euphemism before you start wondering if she has other strings to her bow) as the dust on some of my surfaces (the ones covered in photo frames which you can never be bothered to move) had reached epic proportions - I think a trowel formed part of her extensive cleaning materials. In fact, she had three holdalls of potions and lotions as well as a fancy vacuum. Obviously, her standards are slightly higher than mine (two cloths and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner).
After she left, I wafted from room to room, marvelling at the fresh smells and shining surfaces - it all looked fabulous.
She on the other hand was a broken woman, having taken on my hovel. I promised her that I would lift a duster before her next visit when she would be tackling my upstairs. I may even move things rather than dusting around/over them. I don't want to frighten her off after one visit do I?
So Lady H, thank you for bringing order into my life once again. In recognition of all the work you did yesterday afternoon, I made the husband and son number 2 sleep in the garage.
Snuggled into the packing cases and dust sheets and surrounded by spiders and general filth, they barely noticed the difference...